More Mullet

The Mullet...a.k.a. ape drape, beaver paddle, bi-level, camero cut, busineess in front party in back, Canadian passport, coupe longueuill, al camino, hockey hair, Kentucky waterfall, Missouri compromise, mudflap, neck warmer, ranchero, achy-breaky-bad-mistakey, soccer rocker, squirrel pelt, Tennessee tophat, and the yep-nope....

Know any more?? Please let us know....

Yoga

Ancient yoga!
Picture caption reads: This version of the posture requires considerable strength in the neck, shoulders, and back, requiring years of practice to achieve. It should not be attempted without supervision!


Interestingly enough, many rednecks have been able to achieve this feat in one night!! Of course a little bit of alcholol is involved :)

Time fer sum edumacashun

Exclamations:
"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

Threats:
"I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtastyle."
"This'll jar your preserves."
"Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya!"

Good Things/Compliments:
"Cute as a sack full of puppies."
"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."
"Gooder than grits."

The Weather:
"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
"It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."

Descriptions:
A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."
When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."
If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
"He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin."
A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."

Insults:
"She's uglier than homemade soap."
"Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued.'"
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
"Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."
"The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead"
Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart."
Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."

Redneck Bar Signs

Happy VD!!!

There were three men drinking in a bar, a doctor, an attorney and a biker.

As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring."

As the attorney was drinking his martini he said "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet."

As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said "For Valentine's Day I'm going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go fuck herself!"

Beer Fountain

New beer fountains have been installed at work... ENJOY!!!

Deer Season

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Redneck request

A pompous minister was seated next to a redneck on a flight across the country. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The redneck asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him.

The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch these lips."

The redneck then handed his drink back to the flight attendant and said, "Shit, me too. I didn't know we got a choice."