Jesus and the redneck

An Irishman in a wheelchair entered a restaurant one afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked,

"Is that Jesus sitting over there?"

The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.

The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the Waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?" The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, "My treat."

The third patron to come into the restaurant was a Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, sweet thang. How's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?" The waitress once more nodded, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of Coke, "On my bill."

As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.

Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman felt his back straightening up, and he raised his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.

Then Jesus walked towards the Redneck.

The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me...I'm drawin' disability."

Pimp my ride 2...

Pimp my ride...

Make daddy proud

Sons (& GRANDSONS) Who Make Their Daddy Proud

Lovely redneck women

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I'm not sure this belongs on our redneck blog....but it had to be posted somewhere...LMAO!!

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DON'T SCROLL DOWN IF YOU HAVE AN AVERSION TO DAISY DUKE SHORT SHORTS......
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Mississippi Squirrel Revival

Mississippi Squirrel Revival (Ray Stevens) Powered by Castpost Well when I was a kid I would take a trip Every summer down to "Mississipp," To visit my Granny and her antebellum world. I'd run barefooted all-day long, Climbing trees free as a song; One day I happened to catch myself a squirrel. Well I stuffed him down in an old shoe box, And punched a couple holes in the top; When Sunday came I snuck him in the Church. I was sittin' way back on the very last pew Showin' em' to my good buddy Hugh, When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk. Well what happened next is hard to tell; Some thought it was Heaven others thought it was Hell, But the fact that something was among was plain to see. As the choir sang " I Surrender All", The squirrel ran up Harv Newman's coveralls, And Harv leaped to his feet and said something's got a hold on me! The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula. It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival. They were jumpin' pews and shoutin' "Hallelujah". Well Harv hit the aisles dancin' and screamin'., Some thought he had religion others thought he had a demon, And Harv thought he had a weed-eater loose in his fruit-of-the-looms. He fell to his knees to plead and beg, And the squirrel ran out of his britches leg; Unobserved to the other side of the room. All the way down to the AMEN pew, Where sat Sister Bertha Better-than-You, Who had been watching all of the commotion with sophistic glee. But shoot, you should have seen the look in her eyes When that squirrel jumped her garters and crossed her thighs. And she jumped to her feet and said, "Lord have mercy on me." As that squirrel mad laps inside her dress She began to cry and then to confess, To sins that would make a sailor blush with shame. She told of gossip, and church dissention, But the thing that got the most attention Was when she talked about her love life and then she started naming names. The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula. It was a fight for survival that broke out in revival. They were jumpin' pews and shoutin' "Hallelujah". Well seven deacons and the pastor got saved, And twenty-five thousand dollars got raised, And fifty volunteered for missions in the Congo on the spot. And even without an invitation There were at least five hundred re-dedications, and we all got re-baptized whether we needed it or not. Now you've heard the Bible story I guess Of how He parted the waters for Moses to pass. Oh the Miracles God has wrought in this old world. But the one I'll remember till my dying day Is how He put that church back on the narrow way With a half crazed Mississippi squirrel. The day the squirrel went berserk In the First Self-Righteous Church In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula. It was a fight for survival That broke out in revival. They were jumpin' pews and shoutin' "Hallelujah". (This was a big hit for Ray Stevens, and, one of his funniest! All images and text copied from Singingman7777 thanks for the funnies! I'm not trying to steal your content, just backing it up for prosperity!)