Redneck Nursery Rhymes

(Wish I could take credit, but these are not original compositions.)


Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb #$%!"


HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

Houseboat??

Now THAT'S fancy!!!

Don't drive drunk

Smart rednecks have designated drivers!!

More priorities

Priorities

Redneck tee

.... or aussie tee?

Redneck Christmas

Hey Bubba!! Did you see the rack on that reindeer?? WOOOOOWEEEEEE!!!!!

Sick Bastard 2

Sick Bastard

White Trash Hurricane Survival Kit

Toilet Paper................................check

Bud Light...................................check

Keystone Ice................................check

Budweiser...................................check

Red Dog.....................................check

Misc. other bottles of alcohol..............check

Plywood to float yer chick 'n booze on......check

Next time let's all be more prepared.

Safe Driver

This redneck must have read this sign....

First thing, *GASP* a redneck that can read?!! And second, *GASP* a redneck with ingenuity?!!! OMG the world will end soon... thank goodness Karen and I have our "positions of power" set up in the underworld LOL

Go U.S.A.

This makes me proud to be an American

Why Bubba should not wear a thong.....

WARNING..............FOR THE FAINT OF HEART...DO NOT SCROLL DOWN IF YOU WILL BE TRAUMATIZED BY LARGE NEKKIDNESS.............

Mullet Class

Remember when mullets ruled???

If you still think that...there must be a 12 step program out there for you!!