Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers and the beer. Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that. After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the women's husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung-over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These darn girls nights have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst ... my wife came home with no panties!"
"That's nothing" said the other husband. "Mine came back with a card stuck in the crack of her ass that said, "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you."
A couple, bona fide rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed." 
