Thermometer

Don't mess with rednecks!

Watch out of you bump into a redneck
wearing this t-shirt!! RUN AWAY!!!!

Dream date

Alcohol & Ammo

Fun Redneck Game... I hope ya shoot gud!!

Mullets!

Gotta love Stewie from Family Guy LMAO

Gud eatin'

Redneck Bird dogs from Tennessee

A true Wal-martian!!

Roll back, eh? I'm............speechless.....

Hickbonics

ahz: the things you see with
aig: which come first, the chicken or the aig?
arn: an electrical instrument used to remove wrinkles from clothing
bawl: what water does at 212 degrees
bidness: commercial enterprise
bobbycue: a delectable southern sandwich of chopped pork, cole slaw an a fiery sauce
co-cola: any form/brand of soft drink
clinics: a tissue
crine: weeping
dawfins: name of the pro football team in Miami
daints: a more or less formal event in which members of the opposite sex hold each other and move rhythmically to the sound of music
dayum: an expletive; in other states, a four-letter word
doc: a condition caused by an absence of light
ever: each, as in "She's bin crine ever day since JJ run off"
far: combustion
git: to acquire
goff: a game played with clubs and a little white ball
hep: a cry for assistance, as in "HEP! There's a far!
hoss: a large, solid-hoofed, herbivorous animal
lectricity: energy for arns, tvs, an other thangs
liberry: a building where thousands of literary works are kept
nekkid: to be unclothed
ole well: a source of petroleum
own: opposite of awf (see lectricity)
paypuh: what you write on
shevuhlay: a General Motors car
spearmint: something scientists do
stow: establishment where things are sold
tar: a round inflatable object which sometimes goes flat
uhmurkin: someone who lives in the united state of uhmurka
zackly: precisely

Redneck Nursery Rhymes

(Wish I could take credit, but these are not original compositions.)


Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread.

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son.

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,
"What have you got there?"
Said the Pie man unto Simon,
"Pies, you dumb #$%!"


HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

There was a little girl who had a little curl
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very, very good.
But when she was bad........
She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

Houseboat??

Now THAT'S fancy!!!

Don't drive drunk

Smart rednecks have designated drivers!!

More priorities

Priorities

Redneck tee

.... or aussie tee?

Redneck Christmas

Hey Bubba!! Did you see the rack on that reindeer?? WOOOOOWEEEEEE!!!!!

Sick Bastard 2

Sick Bastard

White Trash Hurricane Survival Kit

Toilet Paper................................check

Bud Light...................................check

Keystone Ice................................check

Budweiser...................................check

Red Dog.....................................check

Misc. other bottles of alcohol..............check

Plywood to float yer chick 'n booze on......check

Next time let's all be more prepared.

Safe Driver

This redneck must have read this sign....

First thing, *GASP* a redneck that can read?!! And second, *GASP* a redneck with ingenuity?!!! OMG the world will end soon... thank goodness Karen and I have our "positions of power" set up in the underworld LOL